The Horror of the Tri-Pants!

OK, here I am, six days before my first ever triathlon, and there's been a mixture of good and bad news over the last week.
Bad News: a triathlon magazine I bought made a big deal about practising the transitions, the bit where you change from swim to bike or bike to run. Almost all their advice was irrelevant or scary, full of stuff like clipping your cycling shoes to the pedals. I don't even have cycling shoes! I'm just going to muddle through, and hopefully not lose too much time.
Good News: I'm scheduled to start the race at 8:45. That's still early, but a major improvement on the 7:00 kick-off listed on the website!
Then we get on to the tri-pants. Most of you will probably never have heard of these things. Sadly, it is my job to expose you to this horror. The faint of heart should stop reading now.
There is a basic problem with the triathlon - you start off swimming, and therefore wet. The reason for this is very sensible - you do the swim first because if you did it at the end there's too much of a risk of getting cramp and drowning. Fair enough. The downside remains that you then have to get out of the pool/lake/river and get on a bike. Cycling or running in speedos is not my idea of fun, and getting changed in the transition is difficult to say the least.
Some bright spark therefore came up with the idea of a triathlon suit or tri-suit, and it's derivative the tri-pants. Basically, the idea behind a tri-suit is you don't have to change at all, you do the whole race in one costume that is swim-suit, cycling bib and running leotard all in one. Given that the last time I wore a wetsuit someone said I looked like a pig in a sock (Thanks Huw), that is not an attractive option to me.
Tri-pants are similar, they're cycling shorts, only made of swim-suit material, and with a quick drying material for the padding.
The tri-pants are acceptable - when I get out of the pool I can pull on a normal T-shirt (my CA polo-shirt, natch) and not look quite so much like a pervert. They're still not pretty though. When they were delivered, the OH was barely able to keep a straight face and made some very unhelpful comments I won't repeat here. Suffice to say they're skin-tight when dry, and no better when wet. They're not as bad as speedos though, thank god.
The good news side of this is they are definitely faster in the water. Compared to the relatively baggy Baywatch-style shorts I was wearing before now, the streamlining makes an obvious difference. It's hard to be accurate, as I'm getting better at swimming as I practice, but I reckon they could be shaving something like 10% off my time in the pool!
Anyway, This week I'm winding down before the race, taking it relatively easy. The race itself is 200m swimming in a pool, 17km cycling, then a 5km run at the end. My target is under 1 hour 15 minutes, although I'll be heavily reliant on how the transitions are set up as to whether I manage that.
In July I'll be running the High Wycombe Half Marathon. I haven't run that far yet, but I figure I'll have a whole month to train, so no problem!
There aren't that many races in August so instead I'll be doing a long cycle, maybe Southampton or Bournemouth to Woking. I'd really like as many of you as possible to come along join me for that, either to do the whole distance, a small part of it, run "support" from a car or just come to my house for the party afterwards. I know there's a few keen cyclists among you, and more than a few lunatics who enjoy a challenge, so what are you waiting for? The pace won't be too hard, and it'll be a great pre-Lourdes get together, so let me know you're interested.
Finally, one more reminder to pledge money at https://www.bmycharity.com/V2/60kmtoLourdes